January 2010
1 tag
oversharey
so i am finally getting a butt. i cant stop eating and it’s starting to show. but i am NOT COMPLAINING. id rather have an ass than tits.
fucking mittleschmertz
2 tags
2 tags
also in things that will interest no one other...
this morning i was reading Calvin N’ Hobbes and it was the one where he decided to secede from his parents, which got me to thinking about how the Civil War was basically the South being a tempermental teenager and wanting to get it’s own way, but it’s parents (The Federal Government) put the smackdown on them and didnt allow them to do so.
i dont really have a large frame of reference...
1 tag
i feel cheated
i watched almost an entire episode of Intervention online, got to see how extremely fucked up this individual was, and then the last part is “currently unavailable”. now i don’t get to see her completely embarrassed about what a total tool she was for the first four parts. dammit.
tell me that's a joke and that it's not SERIOUSLY...
i feel better! i need to do laundry! i know i should stop being surprised, it IS january, for gods sake. but i still have a little florida left in me, i guess. i just keep deluding myself into believing that spring is surely just around the corner…
caution
i am going to attempt to leave the house. i havent left the house since i became ill last week. these walls are closing in. i am only leaving the house for a very short while to go to the store to purchase some necessities (that may or may not be cigarettes, of which i am allowed a few a day) and then i am coming straight back. i dont really want to leave the house because i am a hermit and it is...
i just cant look. not gonna do it.
1 tag
thedisgruntledgradstudent:
Today in Things I See on the Bus: a three year old with two silver teeth. I then ask myself, “Uh WHY?!”
1 tag
1 tag
im totally in love with the golden retriever who...
but i know he’s there bc his owner has a cutie patootie photo of him on the front door, imploring firemen to save him in case of a fire. in it, he’s lying in some snow with a ball in his mouth. its a good thing, bc the damn dog barks all of the time, and if i couldn’t put a face with the noise i’d probably be really pissed off about it. i wish i could say the same thing for...
I really should stop tumblring(?) while stoned.
(via thiswontlastlong
dont even think about it.
Confession Thursday
urbanredneck:
jss:
I don’t, nor do I ever intend to, separate my colors and my whites.
It’s a miracle I even check the labels on my clothing and know when to stick stuff in the delicate cycle.
Laundry is a pain in the ass. It shouldn’t be made more complicated by requiring you to separate the different shades of clothing. So I don’t. And I won’t.
Fact.
Confession Thursday (Response)
I...
Toilet Paper →
sistermarymartha:
I like mine under. Lawrence likes his over. And yeah, yeah, I know, when it’s over you can fold it in a triangle all pretty like for your guests or whatever, just like they do in hotels, BUT I DON’T LIKE IT.
You know why? Because sometimes when you pull the roll, it gets ahead of itself and then you have unraveled toilet paper and that is not necessary.
So anyway, since I am...
some man down on the street is screaming about...
i dont know what his deal is but i am tremendously entertained.
“No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They...”
– Homer Simpson (via absurdlakefront)
its been about four months since ive been able to...
i can log in but i cant get to my page. it says there’s an error and to try again later. ive been DOING THAT AND DOING THAT about once a month, but nothing ever changes. luckily, i cant be too bothered by it. i’m happy merely reading others’ comments.
inane, so inane
it was actually 28 steps to the bathroom. yes, i counted.
1 tag
i never noticed that coffee or sugar gave me such...
i guess now that my system is cleaned out i have the ability to actually FEEL things.
Don't you wish your IM's were hot like mine?...
me: so when are you going to shave that beaver off your face?
deez: mmmm
beaver face
everyday you make me seriously reconsider what my teachers were doing with their spare time all day.
1 tag
its a sign of my utter laziness that my bathroom...
its only fifteen steps but i nevertheless wait until i can barely make it without peeing down my leg before i go
1 tag
1 tag
From The "Where Do They Find These People" Dept.
brianvan:
Jake Vance, for example, catches every Red Sox game he can — mostly on his iPhone.
“I watch every game I can’t get on TV,” he said. “I’ve also been known to watch baseball at home on my iPhone while my wife is watching something else on TV.”
Last season, Mr. Vance, 27, who works long hours making cupcakes in the vegan bakery he owns with his wife in Rutherford, N.J., listened to the...
2 tags
fingers crossed, i dont wanna jinx myself
but i think that despite the codeine cough syrup that i unfortunately HAD to guzzle like it was gatorade over the weekend, im through with my withdrawals. five years of slavery to a nasty substance but it’s all over nowwwwwwwww.
1 tag
i forgot about my dream this weekend
me, my brother and cheetoh jackson were in the car with freaking Gary Busey, of all people and Gary Busey was driving like a maniac and so i convinced my brother that the only thing to do was shoot Gary Busey in order to get the car to stop. unfortunately, my brother did not manage to kill Gary when he shot him so then i had to grab the gun and shoot him again before he could kill my brother. all...
1 tag
im supposed to do some actual WORK on my computer...
but i cant figure out how to do any of it. the sad thing is it was explained to me last night but i think i was in too much of a medicinal haze to retain it.
something cute
i was on the train sunday morning and conversing with a friend and the word “toys” came up. i felt a little funny and suddenly realized that every single child in the car was staring at me. i remember when i was like that.
on a semi-serious note
i have repeatedly (and i mean REPEATEDLY) asked why the H-E-double-hockeysticks ANYONE would create such a large and beautiful city where the weather is so M-F inhospitable. in ATL, it snowed maybe once a year, and the entire city SCREECHED to a halt. i prefer things that way, i think.
our winter is over and ya'll are getting snow...
bowlingalleylawyer:
suckas!
punching you repeatedly in the FACE. :)
2 tags
ps.
i think i’m going to LIVVVVVVE!
1 tag
therealestsocksinthegame:
matt-t:
inthefade:
...
yay, snow!!!
just fucking kidding, y’all. i hate this shit. when’s summer due, again??
1 tag
im beginning to wonder if i even know HOW to do...
nedhepburn:
WHAT KIND OF APARTMENT DOESNT HAVE A REFRIGERATOR AND AN OVEN.
WHAT IS THIS? TRAINSPOTTING? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
haha both my freezer and my oven are broken at the moment. i feel similarly, but it inspires creativity at the grocery store.
Last night I get a call from my best friend.
lordolimar:
After a short conversation I decided to help him out today.
Come 6am my alarm goes off, I get in the shower (in a total zombie-like state), get dressed, and make coffee.
Spent the next 7ish hours helping him try to fix his parents’ roof that has been leaking in two different spots.
…
…My brain still hasn’t woken up yet.
you are a better person than i could ever hope to be.
1 tag
not to say im not plenty stupid already
as evidenced by my grammar in that sentence, but i honestly wish i were just a touch less intelligent, so that i could walk around all happy and cheerful all day long. but no. im just smart enough to be pissed off most of the time about the state of affairs but not smart enough to come up with any sort of solution.
ive only had one cigarette today
which is smart considering im having difficulty breathing without coughing. but still. i WANT IT I NEED IT I DESIRE ANOTHER ONE SO FUCKING BADLY THAT I CANT STAND MYSELF. but still. i refuse to degrade myself by getting dressed and going to the newsstand on the corner for more. that, and im too weak to do so anyway.
1 tag
How To Sound Smart In Front Of Your Friends: Words...
iammattjordan:
Tripsolagnophilia (TRIP-suh-LAG-nuh-FIL-ee-uh) - The desire to obtain sexual pleasure from massage.
Coitobalnism (KOH-i-toh-BAL-niz’m) - Sex in the bath or shower.
Sacifricosis (SAK-oh-fri-KOH-sis) - The practice of absentmindedly fiddling with your genitalia through your pants pockets. “playing pocket pool” or “pocket hockey”
Faunoiphilia (FAW-nay-FIL-ee-uh) - An abnormal...
I have a really hard time telling people I love...
(via gingerspice)
Let's talk about something else now. Ketchup. ...
(via inothernews)
kill me now
im halfway through a book but its only been an hour. how am i ever going to pass all of this time???